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realizing, creat your own happyness
living in las vegas this year for six months, has been one of the worst experiences in my life, and i was waiting to go to the flaming lips concert since july cause just that small amount of time at at the concert compared to the time being here would have made it all worth it. I am low on funds to carry the rest of my life in whatever derection and am completly lonely here besides some family, and i just sat at home, and at certain moments i was was receiving intense vibes of consiousness and now i realize that its cause my favorite songs from one of my favorite bands in the world were playing and thats where i was supposed to be. later that night i couldnt sleep at all and today watching the flaming lips with edward sharp megnetic zeros "do you relize" on youtube i realized the way i felt by not going to the show, sum'd up alot about my life and where i was meant to be the whole time, and if its to late and if my friends have changed. now i am waiting on my car tabs and and planning to trade my car for a conversion van once i head back to my home towns in washington state, and just get a job and live in my van and shower and workout with a gym membership. while making music and being where i belong with my friends that are the best thing i have.